August 20, 2008

Mama the Contortionist

Did you ever notice how once you have a child, your body somehow changes? I'm not referring to the weird paunch that hangs around your mid-section like a deflated jello mold, but to the way your body contorts itself to the occasion? For example, sometimes when I am nursing SoJo on the go, I don't have a pillow handy so I have to make do by propping him up on my thigh which is also being propped up by my foot which is hurting like hell because I have it in a high-heel position without the shoe to go with it.

I become a contortionist about a hundred times a day, whether it's buttering toast and balancing him on my hip, riding shotgun with my seatbelt on and feeding him a bottle while he's screaming in the backseat (really hurts the wrist), or picking up random objects with my foot while holding him, then trying to get said objects from my foot to my hand. And don't get me started on my brain's ability to bend in a hundred ways at once by multi-tasking its way through the day. Could I call that a mind-bender?

Somehow I manage to do it all without falling over or dropping him. Amazingly, no one has gotten hurt yet but man, I ache today. It must be from trying to fold laundry with my feet while changing a diaper with a baby on my hip. Try to figure that out!


  1. Um yeah, you somehow become more flexible when you have when you have to bottle or breastfeed one while chasing the other one down, wrestling her to the ground, and changing her with the three extra hands you don't have...

  2. Man my arches are hurting just reading this, because I know exactly what you mean.

  3. I'm not so sure about the contortionist thing, but sometimes I sure feel like a pack mule!

  4. I hear you!!! I used to be the most uncoordinated individual. It's amazing the dynamic superpowers I have now to catch a child before she hits the ground. Not to mention the psychic powers I possess, knowing when a cup is going to fall off a counter or when a child is going to spew.


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