June 21, 2011

Two Weeks!

The time-lapse of pregnancy has been so weird for me. In some ways, it has really gone slowly, especially those sleepless nights and those days when I'm so exhausted but am not able to lie down to rest (yes, Soren, I'm talking about you).  However, I still can't quite fathom that I'm due in 2 weeks.
 Photo from a few weeks ago; trust me, I'm much larger now, and have not liked seeing any pics of myself lately, puffy and blah, definitely not one of those cutesy pregnant ladies
Because I've inherited my grandmother's habit of never being able to make a decision and stick to it, I'm still up in the air about the c-section.  Yes, truly!  Nothing like waiting until the last minute, deciding whether to have my stomach cut open and all.

At the advice of my OB practice, I've scheduled my C anyway, after my due date, even though my intention is to do the VBAC if I go into labor early.  Because Soren's birth in general was not an ideal experience (painful labor, failure to progress, huge head wedged in the birth canal, finally ending in a caesarian), I'm fearful that I'll end up laboring and having to get a C in the end again anyway.  I know, I know, I'm a wimp (my friend Shana, a true natural birth champion is frowning right now, with good reason) but I have such a terrific fear of labor, stemming even from childhood (being the eldest of 5 kids, it seemed like my mom was always pregnant and somehow I knew what she had to go through to get us out).

I guess I'm leaving things up to fate, hoping that whatever method it takes to get this child into the world alive and healthy will be the "right" one, if there is such a thing.  Though I wish my worries about it weren't keeping me up at night; I already have sleep issues as is!

10 comments:

  1. 2 weeks already? Sheesh... I hope you are able to do a VBAC - but mostly I just wish you a happy and healthy delivery day.

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  2. Wishing you a healthy and happy baby with an easy and speedy labor!

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  3. praying for you, and your decision! You look great friend! :O) Hugs!

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  4. Oh, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with a stressful decision and option. I am also amazed that you had any concept of your mother's efforts and pains during labor. I'm the eldest of six siblings, and was blissfully clueless of whatever discomforts my mom endured! Ha!

    We toured our hospital yesterday, and it was a mixed blessing: informative, in some ways reassuring, and yet sobering. We live in a smaller city than when Kidoodle was born, and the atmosphere here favors a typical epidural type birth as opposed to the natural birth we enjoyed last time. My doctors are all very supportive of a natural birth, but the hospital lacks facilities common to natural births, like a birthing tub or even showers in each room. None of this is a problem, since I didn't need extra things last time, and since I am excited to try an epidural this time. :)

    Making the decision can be hard. I spent the first six months of pregnancy agonizing over my options, until I realized that I feel pretty fenced in here, and that actually helped me make a choice (to try an epidural). Still, some days I fantasize about a C-section, or a natural birth, or an amazing fast and painless emergency home birth! Seems silly!

    All of this is to say that you are not alone in indecisiveness or worry. I do hope you get some good sleep NOW. And congratulations on your final two weeks!

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  5. I've learned a thing or two from my situation-The number one being, no matter how much you plan, and plan, and plan again, life happens the way it happens!

    The best thing to do is have a plan, but just go with the flow even if it's not exactly where you wanted to go, or where you were thinking you were going to go.

    So try not to worry, you're doing juuuuuuust fine :)

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  6. Eeeek! I'm SO EXCITED to see you new little bundle of love!!!!!!! :D

    It sounds like you have all the bases covered in terms of the delivery...after all, you can always fall back on the C-section if you have to, right?

    I'll be praying for a healthy delivery...keep me posted! :)

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  7. Oh my goodness - two weeks??? I totally did not realize you are due already this soon!! Keeping you in mind, and sending you best wishes :)

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  8. I have longer to go, I'll be 35 weeks this Friday but I am beginning to get into panic mode when it comes to knowing what to do. E was a planned C because she was breach. The doctors say I'm an ideal candidate for a VBAC because I my C was due to baby positioning and not due to my labor not progressing or fetal distress. So they want me to plan for a VBAC and hope that I'll go into labor on my own around 39-40 weeks. Because I had a C the first time they can't induce as that might cause too strong of contractions but if I start laboring on my own they can use aides to assist. But since I am also diabetic they won't let me go longer than 40 weeks. So if I don't spontaneously go into labor, I'll still end up with a C section. I had a good first experience with my C section, great recovery and no complications and part of me wants to go that route. But another part of me isn't sure if we'll be done with two and I'm nervous about repeated operations. If the second is a C then the third will definitely be a C. I kinda liked it better when the doctors didn't really give me a choice. I hate trying to figure out what to do!

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  9. Praying for you delivery :)

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