August 16, 2012

Day Careless

I made a mistake.  Three weeks ago, out desperation, I enrolled Soren in daycare at his preschool for 2 days a week, 9am-2pm.  Or "day camp" as I like to put it to make myself feel better about the situation.

Soren hates it.  He whines and sobs every morning, even on some of the days when he's not going.  He misses mommy. There's a kid with an ugly face who throws balls at him.  He doesn't want to take a nap.  He hates going to the pool and having to stay in the baby pool (the main selling point for me was an opportunity to go to the pool every day, since it's impossible for me to take both boys alone).  The reasons go on and on.

While there's nothing wrong with daycare for working parents, it's been extremely difficult to enjoy this time with just one kiddo, partly out of guilt sending him some place that he so detests.  I stay at home with the kids; that's my job.  I feel "wrong" shipping one of them (albeit the more difficult one) off just so I can have a little peace and quiet and get a few chores done without having a little nose literally in my ass.

This summer has not been a splash for us, but more of just keeping our heads above water.  We've been stuck in another behavioral rut with our 4 year old.  He's been obstinate and aggressive for both Chris' and my attention, and with a spirited child like S, our playing and doting and going places with him is never enough.  I feel so bad for him, that for some reason he's hurting, while at the same time I get angry when he deliberately pushes my buttons.  I have a feeling we're going to have a lifelong push and pull, he and I.

The situation will soon rectify itself when daycare ends for him next week (probably as soon as he's finally comfortable there), and then we're on to the preschool routine again.  While it hasn't been easy, I'm hope that somewhere in this mess we've all learned something, whether it's navigating the "kid with the ugly face" or living with the torment of sending your child off to do something he hates. 


  1. There is a book, "Raising Your Spirited Child" that you might be interested in. I don't know if you have already heard of it or read it. It might help your interactions with S. Just remember, this too shall pass.

  2. Honestly, sometimes a mom has to do what she's got to do for herself. I know motherhood is all about the children traditionally, but what about the moms? Without them, there would be no kids, no running household, etc etc. You guys need some time, too!

    Every mom would feel guilty, but you're doing something for yourself and I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

    He's also being acclimated with life, so I have no doubt that will help him later on!

  3. Oh I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time with him! That can be SO hard! My youngest at 11 months is already my "spirited" child and even at his young age can push my buttons! Hang in there!

  4. I know what you mean. I am counting the days… minutes… until Jasper starts school again. Actually, having Roo start a week ahead of him has been great- for him. He's milking the only child status, which he never has a chance to do. Of course, he's also stuck to me like glue and not letting me get anything done. Sigh.

  5. I've been feeling the mommy guilt about sending Jayden to Pre-k after we move in Oct, but it'll be a huge help as we adjust to baby #2. We'll have a few hours to work and tidy up without having him up our butts (so true). Right now, Greg and I communicate via email because we can barely have a conversation without it being hijacked! Jay seems excited to start, but we'll see once he starts going. Hopefully Soren will hang in there and the kid throwing balls at him gets dealt with! ò_ó


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