November 21, 2012

Thankful

There are so many things for me to be thankful for this month, number one being that my family is together, happy and healthy after a month of uncertainty and fear.
We've managed to carry on with our lives as usual, though every now and then I get overwhelmed with emotion, thinking of how close I was to losing my firstborn.
I don't feel like I've fully come to terms with what has happened, emotionally.  Certain things will stir up tears, like bringing out my knitting again after working on it continuously next to S's hospital bed.  Or reading an article about parents losing a child.

It's all so raw for me, and because my life is consumed with taking care of the boys, I don't have much time to deal with my emotions in the thick of things.  Diapers need changing, meals need to be cooked, and my needs take a back seat.  Once the kids are in bed, it's hard to conjure up those feelings again when I have the time to sit with them.  But slowly I'm inhabiting those memories, even if it's when we're outside enjoying the leaves and I get teary, thinking that Soren might not have been here to cover his brother in them and feel the warm sun on his face.
On this Thanksgiving eve, I'm grateful for the big and little things--leaves to be jumped in, beds soft and warm, friends who have kept us in their hearts and who have fed us, both literally and figuratively this past month.  And of course for the even little-er but still important things like hot coffee, Legos, and even cranberry sauce to be cooked (doing that later, it's my yearly contribution and seriously the best recipe).  I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving, my American readers.  May your bellies and hearts be full!

5 comments:

  1. Too true...and now to appreciate my own

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  2. I'm just so happy that your family is happy and healthy and back together for this holiday! That's most definitely something to be thankful about :)

    I wish you guys a happy, healthy and safe Thanksgiving!

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  3. In a way, it's a blessing to be so busy with daily life that you don't have time to give in to emotions. I know what you mean, though- it's all so exhausting. The love and the worry and the general upkeep… but I am so thankful that we've both made it through unscathed, more or less!

    Big hugs.

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  4. Beautiful post, Kathleen. You have much to be thankful for. Hug those precious boys and enjoy them!

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